Dealing with Emotions

Endings are an element of life. We start life by ending our nine months in the warmth and protection of our mother’s womb. For most, childhood introduces us to many kinds of endings—pets get lost, grandparents pass away, parents get divorced, and we lose our unique position in the family when other children are born.

When the warning light on the dashboard of your car begins to flash, indicating that you are about out of gas, do you take a hammer and smash the dashboard? Or do you (grumbling, perhaps) take heed of the warning and head for the gas station? Our bodies work the same way. We may not enjoy warning that pain offers, but it lets us know when we need to pay attention to our bodies and take care of ourselves.

First it’s important to know that giving up the struggle and giving up on the struggle are two different things. To give up the struggle means to stop wrestling with adversity—to deal with adversity in a more creative manner. But struggle can become a lifestyle in itself, and this is what we want to put aside.

We have great admiration for those who keep their cool. From movie stars to politicians, from friends to co-workers, from parents to kids, we prefer those who are unflustered in the face of challenge. And, often our own self-esteem is also connected to our own ability to stay level headed. This quality means being composed, calm, unflustered, cool, collected, imperturbable, level headed, and “cool as a cucumber.” And how do we get that quality?